Standards

These are the rules for what goes in the paper and how it is written. They were adopted in the first week. They have been revised once, and nobody can say what changed.

If we are not sure, we print what he said and then say we could not confirm it.
We do not say he was late. We say he arrived at 7:40 having told everyone seven.
We do not tell the reader how to take an item. Print what happened and stop.
When he explains himself, we print the explanation word for word. That is usually enough.
A second sentence is allowed if it adds a fact — a time, a number, who was there. "The matter has been noted" is not a fact.
Exclamation marks are reserved for the classifieds, where they have never been used.

The Gazette has never defined neckass and is not going to. Everyone on staff knows one when they see one, and they see one every day.
The word is set lowercase as a common noun and capitalized as the subject of this paper.
Do not try to explain the neck. It does not mean anything.

Routine neckassery. Small everyday failures: the alarm, the leftovers, the group chat. Most of the paper. He says he will do a thing and the same sentence says he did not.

Administrative neckassery. When a company, a committee, or a fridge takes a formal position on him. Also covers anyone who studies the word, agrees he is one, and still cannot say what it means.

Neckass-adjacent. Close, but not confirmed. Also where the printer, the weather, and Tuesdays get filed when he calls them neckass, which he does.

Unprecedented neckassery. Worse than anything on file. Used rarely. Used twice by mistake.

Anything where it turned out he was right. It has happened twice.
Anything he has already been told about — unless he did it again, which he did.
Anything the printer has asked us to stop covering.

Today's issue follows these rules, as do all back issues. The word itself is covered in the entry.

General

On the term

Varieties recognized by the desk

Matters the Gazette will not file